By Fermin Sierra, Courier Staff Writer

I am one of a kind, so unique that I usually don’t use terms like “one of a kind”. I know what people are thinking because I am people. To put it simply, you believe me because I believe myself. I am the only person in the world who wakes up in the morning (3:15 am, to beat the crowds) and brushes his teeth for five minutes only to reveal the biggest sh*t-eating grin you’ve ever seen. I am determined to be convincing. You know, the guy that calls you “Karen” or “Max” until you think and act just like Karen or Max would.

I start everyday of my life before you wake up, and I let you know. I don’t work harder, but you think I do. All of those people that spend every night of finals week up until 2:00 in a futile attempt to raise their grade .1%? I’m not one of them. I do minimal work for the maximum reward. When I get a high paying desk job sometime in the next six years, you know what the placard on my desk is going to say? “THE GUY THAT DOES IT BETTER THAN YOU”.

The fact is, I won’t do my job better than you, most likely, I won’t do it (“it” being anything I please) as well as you, but I will be getting the credit. To put it nice and simple: I am a bullsh****r. I am the guy: Red from Shawshank, Jerry McGuire, The Devil. Okay, maybe I got a little carried away, but my point is simple; I’m not better because I say I’m superior, I’m better because you believe me when I say it.

I’m graduating in a couple of weeks, but you’ll see me in a few years; I’ll be the guy sitting behind the expensive desk with the nice placard. Oh, and I’ll be smiling.